Yes, I'm updating my blog when I should be napping. Both children and hubby are sleeping, but I had a small burst of energy and wanted to keep family and friends updated. I know these updates will get more sparse in weeks to come. I also want to jot down my thoughts in these first few weeks before I forget them. These days go in such a blur between feeding every few hours, or sooner, making intentional time with Jude, and just resting.
My Mom left today, which brought out my surge of post partum emotions. When she walked out the door with Justin and Jude, I just held Sadie and cried. She was so wonderful to have here during this time. God has so richly blessed us with supportive friends and family here, but to have my Mom here to help with Jude and just love on me was so needed this past week.
I had my Hillsong radio station playing on Pandora and the song "Your Grace Is Enough" was playing when they left. I sensed the Holy Spirit telling me to just worship and be thankful, so I did. Thankfully! I placed Sadie down in her crib, sat on my bed, cried, and worshiped. I truly needed this experience. My heart is so overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy. I asked God to help me remember this, just like the Isrealites were told to pick up stones while crossing the river to remember. When my heart feels dry and empty. When the days are long with 2 little ones; remember this feeling of immense thankfulness to have 2 healthy babies, a supportive family, a great group of friends, and a loving husband. To remember what His goodness feels like.
My heart is so full!
Unfortunately, Justin's field season is quickly approaching, meaning this is his busiest season of the year. He took Monday off (Sadie being born on last Sunday), but had to go back to work on Tuesday. Again, so thankful to have my Mom here during this adjustment period. Though he had long days, it's so good to have him home in the evenings. Since trying to only nurse these first few weeks until Sadie has a good latch, he and I have had some good late night talks at her late night feeding.
As this sweet girl already turns 1 week old, I am reminded of the importance of just being with her. When Jude was born, we had some huge decisions to make concerning Justin's next step in his career. I also was very rigid on what I thought I HAD to do with my baby, trying to follow certain things and self-induced expectations that I did not allow myself to "just be".
Thankfully, this time around, I'm trying to just enjoy her sweet tininess. These moments go far too quickly. I love her snuggles, the funny noises she makes, the gassy smiles while she sleeps, and her teensy baby love. I am so amazed by God's rich blessings when I look at her and Jude.
Jude is doing well. Though the first night was tough, overall, I think he's adjusting wonderfully. He doesn't like to hear her cry, but it's out of concern, not agitation. She also reminds Justin and I to be careful with her. He told a friend this week, "This is my baby sister. She is so tiny. You have to be caweful." It feels like yesterday he was so tiny and now he's taking on the role of protecting her.
And again, my sweet Mom. She has had such an emotional roller coaster of a year. From my brother's health needs and welcoming 2 new grandchildren, she has been on her toes in 2013. I am so thankful she was able to be here during this experience. I know the coming months will bring other family and friends to our side, which we will also be forever thankful for. Our cup truly does runneth over.
Thank you Lord, for you abundance of blessings. My you remind my heart of your goodness and grace always.
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