Summer Fill In

We have already had 3 full weeks of summer and are 1/2 way through our 4 week. It's going way too fast, as to be expected. We have enjoyed almost 2 weeks with Justin's family; time at home, trips to the library, and me enjoying being a stay at home Mommy. Above is a picture of Jude playing with his first worm. He found it outside of the restaurant on Father's Day and thought it was hysterical.

 Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's and Papaw's. (My Dad/Pop was not able to be there obviously, but we're looking forward to lots of time with Mo Mo and Pop to come.)

 We spent a great week at North Myrtle Beach to start the summer off with my family. Jude has been to the beach once before when he was 10 weeks old, but this was the first time he had the chance to really play and experience it. He isn't too fond of the waves, but he loves playing in the sand and in the tide pools. He'll splash, dig, and run all over.

 We enjoyed a night out one night to Calabash to enjoy amazing seafood. Jude loved spending daily lunch and nap time with Mo Mo and I enjoyed a few hours of quiet talking with my siblings and reading on the beach.

My little beach bum!!! We had an amazing time at the beach. It was so great to see that Jude did in fact enjoy the beach. He also enjoyed feeding the sea gulls.

During our transition to the Eastern time zone, we used this time to back up Jude's normal bed time of 8:30 pm to 9:30 pm (making it only a 2 hour difference) and moving to 1 nap a day. Since Jude was about 7 months, he had been taking 2 naps, 1 from 9:30-11:30 in the morning and another around 2:30 or 3 until about 4:15 or 4:30. He had been backing up his morning nap a little every week or so for about a week, so I thought it was time. Since June 3rd, he's been going to bed around 9:30 pm, getting up between 6:45-7 am (an occasional 7:30 sleep in day has been thrown in) and naps from around 12:45 to 3:30'ish. He has also cut 3 of his canine teeth which has been hard on him. Bad poos with terrible diaper rash, but he's been a trooper. I'm a littler nervous about transitioning him back into his normal crib in his own room once we move to Seattle in August. By that time, he will have been rooming in with us in the pack and play for almost 2 1/2 months. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Last week we spent our time in Auburn, which was wonderful. (Blog post to come later this week.) While there, I realized that for the first 5 weeks of summer, Jude will have been in a different place every week. North Myrtle, Shelby, Auburn, back to Auburn, Athens, TN, then to Asheboro for a little while.) Our sweet man has really been awesome with all this moving. I am so thankful that he is flexible and willing to let his Mommy see all these people she loves.

It's going quickly, but there is still lots of summer to come!

Already?

 Yes, this sweet man is ALREADY 15 months old! I can't believe it! He is truly a joy! He will give so many hugs and kisses if he knows you. He's all about giving anyone a high five.

 He continues to soak things up like a sponge. His spoken vocabulary has flourished just over the last few weeks, adding tree, horse, tractor, and JJ, Zach, and Papaw to people words. He can perform lots of "tricks", when he wants to of course, but my favorite one is to ask to see his "teeth" and he'll give you the biggest grin ever. Priceless.

Jude weighs 26.5 lbs and I have no idea how long he is. We have not had his 15 month check up yet. It will be a little late due to vacay in NC. He loves animals, reading books, playing outside, and trucks and tractors. He's definitely all boy. He is also a Momma's boy and I'm ok with that. I know the days of him reaching for me and crawling up in my lap won't last forever.

On a not so light note, we have really had to be persistant and consisten with disciplining Jude. He is very strong willed. He usually obeys when we tell him "no" to something but if we take something away that he wants and already has, for example, picked up a stick yesterday and started to run with it...Justin simply took it from him and said "That's dangerous Jude. We don't run with sticks." Jude flailed himself on the ground and had a coniption. He doesn't even want to give up his toothbrush until he's ready. It's a process though and with God's grace, we'll be just fine.

I'll have a summer update soon. We spent last week at North Myrtle Beach with my family and we've been in Shelby this week. Jude and I are visiting Auburn next week!!!

Thoughts on Breast Feeding

Ok, so I've been wanting to blog about my thoughts on breastfeeding for some time but have not taken the time to sit down and really put down my thoughts. As I've mentioned before, my blog is for others to enjoy, but it also serves as a sort of journal for myself. I do want to say that this post is not anything necessarily factual, but it's what breast feeding meant to me, for our family, and what worked or didn't work for Jude and me in our journey together. This is Justin and my opinion of what worked best for our family.

First of all, before getting pregnant with Jude, I had a wonderful group of friends who went through breast feeding before me that were able to offer me a great deal of advice and support. Once we were pregnant, I knew that breast feeding was something I definitely wanted to attempt and my goal was to make it through the 1st year. From my research, I felt that at 1 year, Jude would be able to get his nutrients from food and organic cow's milk, hence why I made this my goal.

Before Jude was born, I read several books that I found helpful, including Baby Wise and Secrets of a Baby Whisperer. I also researched different "tools" to aide in breast feeding like support pillows, the "right" bra, and different natural supplements like certain teas to help with lactation. Justin and I also attended a very imformative and beneficial breast feeding class offered to us by our hospital. By the time Jude was born, I felt confident that we were as ready as we could be to try this new adventure.

Before I go on, I want to make a list of certain items that I found very beneficial during my time of breast feeding.
1. The right bra: I will say to anyone who is a new mother, DO NOT invest in an expensive nursing bra at first...I got a nice sports bra from Gap Body and LOVE it. It is easy to pull down and supported my new DD's, in which I am usually a B. To be totally honest, I spent nearly $80 in Medela nursing bras and wore them each maybe 5 times. I ended up buying good bras from Ross (Izod and Bali in my new size) and just pulled them over to nurse. They were much more comfortable than the nursing bras.
2. The right pillow: For me, the Boppy was wonderful for Jude and I as we both learned what nursing was all about. It fit around me just right and allowed the necessary support that we needed as he learned.
3. The right cover: I personally like Utterly Discreet cover up. They offer really cute designs but are also bigger than many other cover ups. If you have a wiggly baby like me, the extra fabric comes in handy in case they try to show your goods.
4. The right nursing pads: I did not like any disposable nursing pads. Not only are they not environmentally friendly, which Justin and I try to be, I found them itchy and uncomfortable. I liked the cloth, reusable nursing pads by Gerber found at Target. They were super affordable and I would wash them every night by hand and they would be dry the next morning. Of course, I bought enough to have extra in case I didn't wash them.
5. The right nipple cream: This was huge those first few weeks. For me, the only thing I will ever recommend is Medela brand. Lansinoh is much thicker and when you're as sore as you'll be, you want something to go on smoothly. I also had a friend recommend to me to start putting nipple cream on every night a few weeks before the due date to help get your body ready. I did heed this advice I personally think it helped. Compared to others who told me how long their soreness lasted, mine only lasted about 4 days.

Ok, back to breast feeding. Once Jude was born, I was very blessed to have a child that latched well from the get go. I went through the "extrememly sore, need to scream and grip the sheets every time we feed" for a few days, but thankfully, that time passed quickly. If I can offer any advice, DON'T give up. You will be sore, it may be hard and frustrating, but it really is worth it. I also greatly encourage having your husband on board. Justin was wonderful during this process. Because he went to the class with me, he new the different positions it takes to teach the baby and me what we're doing and he was great. I also encourage heeding help from a lactation consultant. We were blessed to have 2 available to us through our hospital, free of charge. The gave a lactation appointment before leaving the hospital as well as 3 days after leaving to "check in". We also had a weekly support group. It was great to have access to such helpful people.

During my time nursing, following the schedule of Baby Wise worked for us. Jude fed every 3 hours for the fist 6 weeks and we eventually backed it up as we needed it to according to his needs. Once Jude started sleeping through the night (9:30 pm-5:30 am) I needed to pump after even nursing because I was so full. This ended up being a huge blessing because I actually put an extra bottle's worth away every day and really stocked up on my supply in the freezer.

I can honestly say, breast feeding worked well for us. Amid the cross country move, going back to work, and the emotional wreck I often was, I found my sweet time with my boy was what I needed. I used my time nursing (especially those early months when it's SO often) as a time to pray, sing, and talk with Jude.

When Jude was 7 months old, I got a terrible stomach virus and spiked a high fever. I actually totally dried up within 12 hours of becoming sick and was so distraught. I cried and cried but thankfully, my stock was up. I pumped or nursed every 2 hours and finally after 2 full days, my milk came back. (I also took some supplements and drank a lot of tea.) However, my milk did not come back fully. At that time, I began to have to supplement with formula 1/2 the amount of milk for Jude every day. (By January, his milk amount had gone down enough that what I was producing was enough, so he actually only needed formula for about 3 months.)

I continued to breast feed (of course, I pumped while at work) to supply all his milk needs through his 1st year. I made my goal! At 11 months, I started mixing my breast milk with oraganic milk a little at a time so by his 1st birthday, he was pretty much completely on whole milk. Once Jude turned 1 year, I personally wasn't quite ready emotionally to stop nursing. I no longer pumped at work, but I continued to nurse Jude in the mornings and right before bed for another month. It was a sweet time for us to continue to snuggle and bond. At 13 months, I stopped the evening feedings (I honestly think he was probably only getting an ounce or so at this point any way) and only nursed in the mornings for another week. The last time I breast fed Jude, I knew it would be the last and I did cry. I loved the time I got to spend with him because it was something only I could provide for him.

I do want to emphasize that I do not think breast feeding is for everyone. I know that not all women have an easy time as I did nor are certain jobs as flexible as mine to allow for pumping and such. As I stated before, this is what worked for us. Justin loved the fact that I breast fed Jude to my goal date and was always supportive. He was great about feeding Jude with my milk in bottles throughout the entire 1st year of Jude's life and we found a system that really worked for us. I am so thankful for the opportunity to have a good amount of milk, as well as rich milk that gave Jude what he needed. My experience was one that I am very thankful for and I can only imagine how hard it is to want to breast feed and can't. I also do not judge those women who for whatever reason choose to go straight to formula. Every mother and child are different. Again, this is what worked for us and I hope that something I learned through my experience can be beneficial to others.

Transparency

I always wonder who actually reads my blog and if anyone cares (I don't say that to have people tell me how much they love following me by the way), but I am reminded that this blog helps me keep up with life's events. I started journaling in the 8th grade and I have continued this practice nearly daily the past 12 years. This blog serves as another means to my journal entries.

Going with the title of this post, I hope readers will find my heart transparent. A lot of what I type are memories and life to share with family and friends. However, I also believe as a Christian, we need to be real with one another. I know I have been most comforted when other people have shared their stories with me, and as Pastor Mike used to say at PC3, "Live life together." With that said, I would like to share what the last 12 months has looked like for me.

In April of 2011 (1 short month after Jude's birth), Justin accepted a PhD position at Clemson University in near Greenville, SC. Though I was sad to say good bye to Auburn, as it has become a home to us, I was thankful to stay in the South and to become closer to family; a mere 1.5 hours from Justin's family and less than 3 hours from my own. My heart was filled with joy and excitement with the opportunity to move closer as we had expanded our family. I had begun interviews and we had gone house hunting with a realtor. We were moving to South Carolina. Then, 6 short weeks after this decision, Justin's professor told him plans had changed and it looked like we were needing to move to the research site, which was located in Arizona.

Oh, I was mad. I was bitter. I refused to go. I did not want to move to Arizona, 2000 miles away from everything I knew. Thankfully, I was offered a 3 jobs in AZ before I was ever offered anything in SC. We found a place to rent and things seemed to fall into place. Though my desire to move to AZ really ever changed, I knew I needed to be obedient to my husband and trust him to trust Him in the leading of our family.

In July, about 15 guys from our Sunday School classed met out our home on Dumas Dr. in Auburn to load up the Uhaul. Within an hour, our things were loaded and we were ready to officially move west. As I hugged our neighbors, Dr. Davis and his wife, as well as one of  my best friend's Emily, I began to cry and my emotions took over. I'm pretty sure I cried all the way to the Mississippi state line.

3 days later we arrived at our new home. We were staying in a home that had the dirtiest carpet I'd ever seen and I refused to live there while my son learned to crawl. It smelled funny and the bathroom (the only bathroom) was so small, you could not open the cabinet under the sink all the way because it hit the toilet. However, when sitting in bed those first few weeks, crying and pleading with God to please make this season go by quickly, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the small things; a home, a job, a healthy son, and frequent flyer miles.

Over the next several months, a lot changed for me emotionally and spiritually. I know I had a group of women located all over the South (mostly in Auburn and in NC) praying over my heart and my marriage. There were days I could sense a peace and a certain hope and then I'd check my email to find a random email from a friend saying, "You're on my mind today. Praying for you." Talk about the power of those small prayers. Well, is any prayer really small? I was given the advice from a wise friend "Sometimes, when there is no one else, the only person to turn to is God."

Being a social being, thriving off of "girl time", I had to learn to find my time with God and with Justin enough, especially my time with God. I also began to relish in the small moments with Jude, that I think I would have taken more for granted if we were any where else. I embraced a lot of quiet walks and I can say that God has moved mountains in mine and Justin's marriage. There were more mean words spoken and irrational moments in this past year than I care to admit, but man how God's grace has covered us!

I have learned a lot about being content and have become much more grateful for the small things, like funding at my job, supportive parents, girl friends, and sweet tea. I am more aware of my many blessings! I just have to brag on God on a few of these:
1.) We bought a home, sold it in 7 months, and made a decent profit
2.) Sold Justin's work truck
3.) Sold my car in literally 3 minutes to upgrade to a small SUV (and still don't have a car payment)
4.) Found 2 wonderful Christian baby sitters for Jude
5.) Found a sweet, small church to grow in and be loved on
6.) a few Christian friends along the way to share in our journey in AZ
7.) Lots of visits from family and friends

Ok, onto the next step...around mid-January, we realized that Justin's position as a PhD student at Clemson was not working. There are several tiny details I won't delve into, but we knew that God was showing us another path. We quickly began praying about where we needed to go and even questioned, why move us here for such a short time? I watched my husband struggle with leading us and I was struggling with being submissive. Again, the Lord graciously covered us and allowed us to go to Him for strength.

As Justin began applying to other positions and jobs, we narrowed it down to 2: a PhD position at the University of Washington in Seattle or as a Biologist in Wilmington, NC. Ok y'all, to dreery timbucktoo or to my favorite place on Earth? We prayed specifically for God to open and close doors to and move in our hearts concerning this situation. After about 6 weeks, I had been offered a job at a school district in Seattle that is ranked in the top 25 systems in the nation and Justin has been turned down for the job in Wilmington. Door closed for him, one opened for me, in opposite places...God? We also took a visit to Seattle and I had prayed that God would either grant me peace or solidify me heart on not wanting to go. To my ever so fiesty spirit, my heart was overwhelmed with peace during that weekend. We met several Christians while there, saw the beauty of the city, and God definitely asked me gently, "Please trust me child."

Since that time, we've been making arrangements for yet another move. I hope that this short season in AZ has allowed me the opportunity to do some good in the lives of my students here and in the community. And, I also have faith that God will continue to be ever so faithful in the details of our lives as we move to Seattle. Over the last 7 months, I've seen my parents more than I ever did while living in Auburn. Though our plane tickets are now a huge part of our monthly budget, He is faithful to provide this for our family.

I don't know if I will ever have an answer to some of the "why's" and I don't think I'm owed that. God is good and He is sovereign. His faithfulness amazes me and I am so grateful to serve a mighty God who calls me His. Though I have had a very "dry" season in the last year, God has still produced much fruit and I am so thankful!

God works all things for good for those who love Him...Romans 8:28

Shoes Please

 Sorry the quality of these pictures aren't great, but I have not updated to a Smart Phone or anything and this is what you get with something old school. Jude man turns 14 months today. He is the sweetest little booger, yes, I know, I'm probably a little bias, but he really is. He is soaking up things like a sponge. Right now, he loves playing Ring Around the Rosies, especially the "All fall down" part. He likes to dance and being tickled. His favorite toys are his blocks, his animals, and his race track. He's definitely all boy and enjoys playing in the rocks and dirt in our yard.

He still eats like a horse and other than green veggies, will eat about anything, except mac and cheese. Strange, I know but I think it's the texture. He also will only eat cheese when it's melted on something now. He still gets his veggies by me hiding them. I make smoothies almost every day for him and I always add spinach leaves. He'll also eat broccoli or asparagus when they are covered in cheese, which I'm ok with since he needs the calcium. :)

Jude is a snuggle bug and still sleeps like a champ. He is an early rise though, getting up by 6:15 am every morning. Never thought I would think 7 am was sleeping in. We're really looking forward to our summer in North Carolina and can't wait for these last few weeks of school to be over!

Cute little story I wanted to share...Jude's feet STINK...I mean like man feet, so I decided shoes that could air his feet out more would be a better choice for him. Who knew $3.87 could make a child so happy. I picked up these cheapies at Wal-mart yesterday and the kid won't take them off. He shakes his head "no" when I tell him it's time to take his shoes off. This morning, when Papaw walked in (Justin's grandparents are here visiting) the first thing Jude did was go get his new shoes, sit on the floor, hand the shoes to Papaw and say "Shoes please" while pointing to his feet. Precious!

Until next time...

Almost Summer and Surprises

 It has been a little warm in AZ lately. To most people's surprise, we don't live in the desert. The small town where we live is actually in the Pinal Mountains, about 4500 above sea level, so the higher elevation makes for nice weather. We stay consistently 10-12 degrees cooler than Pheonix. We have been averaging temperatures in the mid 80's, but with no humidity, it's not that bad. It also still gets into the low 70's at night which is perfect for our evening and morning walks.

A few weeks ago, we had an unseasonably warm day in the mid 90's and we decided it was time to break out the pool. Jude didn't know what to think of it at first, but he did have 1 last ring pop left from his Easter basket, so once we coaxed him in, he was sold. This kid LOVES water...he cries when bath time is over, but the water was cool since it was straight from the spicket, so that didn't help. He loves to splash and throw everything into his new toy, including his toothbrush and paci. Mason also likes having it in the back yard so he can take a dip while we're at work.

 Last weekend, Jude and I made a suprise visit home to NC for an early Mother's Day for my Mom and Mother in Law. My brother, brother in law, and father in law all knew so they could correlate picking us up and making sure the grandma's could get time off. It went off without a hitch. No one had any idea and we had a wonderful visit. The weather was wonderful and we had a great time enjoying cup cakes from Brittany, breakfast at Chickfila, and playing on his birthday slide and on the golf course with Nana. I love giving surprises, so to see everyone's faces was great. I think my favorite had to be my sister. Though she's not a Mom, I wanted to surprise her too, so Phillip helped make sure she wasn't scheduled to work. I thought we would be awake before she got to Mom and Dad's but we weren't, so I woke up to her in my face asking, "Why are you in my bed!?!?" Too funny. Of course, Jude was spoiled and given all the attention. It was so nice to be home and I can't wait for our trip this summer. We plan to be home all summer, making trips to North Myrtle Beach, Wilmington, Auburn, Tennessee, and spending lots of quality time with family and friends.

On another note, this little guy continues to melt my heart. He is so sweet! He has added the word "Please" to his sign vocabulary and uses it very well. He has begun to use 2 word sign phrases like "Milk please" or "More please". He'll also say "Cracker" then sign please. He still doesn't say a lot of words, but he seems to communicate effectively without a whole lot of whining, praise the Lord and knock on some wood people. Just this morning, he wanted his toothbrush and signed "more" after pointing to it. I didn't get it quick enough and I asked him to "Ask nicely please" and he quickly got quiet and signed "please". He still loves Mason and they are so good with each other. Jude has begun to get really attached to me. He wimpers and cries when I leave him, but his sitters tell me it's only for a few minutes. We have definitely had to discipline this little guy, especially when dealing with meal time and him sticking everything in the dog food bowl. Yesterday I gave him a carrot to gnaw on and this child was caught "dipping" it in the dog food bowl. He would stick it in the food, lick the carrot, then repeat. Gross!

He cracks me up. Last nigth we taught him how to play Ring Around the Rosies and he loved it. He kept signing, "More please" and he would grab onto mine and Justins' hands for us to get up and do it again. I can't believe how quickly he's changing and I'm trying to soak up every minute. I am so thankful to have such a flexible schedule with teaching and I'm eager to spend every day with him this summer.

Next weekend, Justin's grandparents, The Caldwells, will be visiting and we're really looking forward to their visit. :)

Sweetness-13 Month Check In

In the words of one of my friends, "You don't have a baby any more; you've got a toddler." I think she's pretty accurate. This little man is becoming such a big boy. Yes, I'm a little late on a 13 month post, but I am getting to it. I'm thankful to make myself do this so I won't forget. I remember friends telling me that you forget the small things and I thought, "I never will" but I already have in some of the early months.

Jude man is all boy. He loves his blocks, throwing balls, and animals. He also LOVES water. He cries when bath time is over and he's grown to enjoy playing in Mason's water bowl. Because that is disgusting, we bought him a kiddie pool, which he loves and insists in playing with any time we're outside. He also loves his Mason. These two rarely leave one another's side. Mason even naps under his crib on days we're home. I am so thankful Mason is so gentle with him.

Jude has learned to sign "please" in the past week. This means his signs are up to more, milk, all done, and please. I'm working on teaching water (since he signs milk for that too right now) and thank you. He babbles a lot and recognizes many words, but doesn't verbalize a whole lot. He still says Daddy, Momma, dog, and cracker. He is very good at pointing and then saying "more" to let us know what he wants though. We have definitely begun having to discipline this little guy. Most often it's because he's playing in Mason's food bowl or throwing food from the table. Over all, knock on wood, he understands "no" and listens. That doesn't mean he doesn't temporarily scream when removed from a situation, but over all, he's doing well with taking direction. I know this will continue to develop.

He's in a big boy car seat and has been for a while. He definitely prefers facing forward. I know there are a lot of studies that say children should stay facing back ward for as long as possible, but this poor child screamed bloody murder every time he was in the car until we turned him around. He's definitely over the weight limit for facing forward so Justin and I agreed to go ahead and turn him around.

He continues to be a good eater and a good helper. He is learning to put things in the dryer, as well as throwing things in the trash. He is very loving and enjoys snuggling when tired and being sung too. He likes books, but he prefers opening and closing them, rather than reading and entire one, but we make sure to read to hiim at least 1 short book a day.

Jude has a buddy, Isaac, who he stays with during the day. Isaac will be 2 in June and his Mom is who cares for Jude 3 days out of the week. They are a good, godly family and I am so thankful the Lord brought them into our lives. Jude and Isaac have become good pals. They play so well together, hold hands, and give each other kisses. They share well and when Jude goes down for his morning nap (since Issac just has 1 afternoon nap now) he says "no seep baby dude" and waits at the door for him, haha. I am so thankful they are learning from one another.

Jude continues to soak things up continually and amaze us with his sweet temperament. I will not lie, he can be a "mean little cuss" in Justin's word, but it's usually because he's frustrated and can't tell us, teething (oh, by the way, he's been cutting 3 molars the past 2 weeks, poor baby), or because he's slowly learning he can't always have what he wants, when he wants it.

I am so thankful to have the honor in raising this child. What a blessing he is!